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Bridesmaids. It’s on the list next to the dress, venue, and photographer…Who is going to be next to you all throughout your big day? For some brides, this isn’t a problem at all, so the decision is fast and easy. But before you ask anyone or even think of anyone, consider first how large you want your party to be. If you are planning on a small wedding, less is best and vise versa. But just because you have 15 amazing girlfriends, doesn’t mean you have to invite them all to be a bridesmaid. Sure, they might be willing and able but consider these next few tips as a way to narrow down the pool to give you the best list and most sanity.

1. More Folks, All with Different Strokes
That’s right. If you have 3-4 bridesmaids, the decision making on a dress will be a lot faster than if you have a group of 7-12 ladies. It’s especially noticeable in this situation when a bridesmaid or two is thinking too much about themselves, and not enough of what you as a bride wants. Instead of just spending 2 hours picking a dress, it now has become 2 days!

2. Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover
Speaking of dresses, by asking someone to be a bridesmaid, you are also asking her to cover the cost of her own dress from head to toe. But let’s say you have a friend who you really want to ask, and you know she’s going through some financial troubles, do you still ask? Yes! Don’t EVER assume that a friend cannot be a part of your wedding based on their personal situations. A bride might think she’s being considerate, but this tends to always backfire and make your friend think that you’re interested more in her money than you are in her friendship. Please, ASK HER. If money’s tight, but she really wants to be a part of it, you’ll both find a way.

3. “No” is Not the End of the World
So you asked your friend with personal troubles (or whoever) if she can be a bridesmaid and she said, “No”….It’s okay, it’s not the end of the world, and you should not take it personal. Instead of being upset or confused over the reply, be grateful that she let you know from the beginning that she can’t, instead of agreeing now, to not hurt your feelings, and then drop out of the wedding later. No bride ever wants that situation. But if she is a person who is near and dear to your heart, you can always give her another role to play in the wedding that is simple, but gives her importance (and doesn’t cost anything if money is an issue).

4. “So…what do I do?
What are you going to want you bridesmaids to do? Are they going to help you make the favors or are they just going to be your moral support? This is something to consider if you have bridesmaids who live far away or have hectic schedules. Be sure that you are clear in the beginning of what your bridesmaids are expected to do, so there isn’t any conflict later.

5. It Should Be Me!
Okay….be careful with picking that great friend of yours who has an amazing heart, buuuut is also the jealous type, or the girl who’ll get upset over a bottle of mustard. Every bride has a friend that for whatever reason, loves drama. Don’t–have–her–as–a–bridesmaid. A bride already has enough things to deal with that are going to be dramatic by nature, don’t add more drama with a bridesmaid who tends to be self centered and not considerate towards the bride. But again, if this is a person who MUST be in the wedding party, be sure to talk to them about this issue to reduce any future complications.

6. “WOO! Party!”
Who doesn’t like a good time? It’s not that it’s bad to have someone like this by your side, but remind your bridesmaid whether it’s an old friend or relative, that they need to tone it down (like at the ceremony) and to wait for the perfect time to let loose (like near the end when it’s time to dance). Consider this too for the person who is painfully shy. They may prefer being a guest at your wedding, then having to stand in front a huge audience.

Communication is extremely important with your wedding party so make sure everyone is on the same page, and it would be one less thing for you to worry about.

Have an amazing day, and remember to breathe.

As a fun loving couple, we love hearing “I Dos!” We provide beautiful photography and unique albums for your upcoming wedding and we capture who and what you represent to each other. Be sure to view our portfolio, and blog featuring Wedding Tips and Experts We Love interviews to plan your perfect day!

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